Boundaries, Self-Respect, and the Curse of the Late Invite
We’ve all been there. Plans are swirling around, you catch wind of a fun event, and...crickets. No invite for you. Or worse, the dreaded last-minute invite, the one that screams "afterthought". It’s easy to feel a sting of disappointment or even frustration. But here’s a mantra to live by:
- Not invited? Don’t go!
- Not told? Don’t ask!
- Late invites? Decline!
Harsh? Maybe at first glance. But these simple rules protect something vital – your sense of self-worth.
The Psychology of "Convenience"
When you’re an afterthought rather than a priority, it’s a clear sign that you weren’t part of the original plan. Suddenly, you’re a placeholder, slotted in to fill a gap. This kind of dynamic can be subtly damaging. Your time, energy, and presence are valuable, and they deserve better than being a last-resort option.
So, what do we do when faced with this situation?
- Don’t take it personally (easier said than done). Sometimes, it’s simple forgetfulness and not malicious intent.
- Hold your ground. If you weren’t initially invited, don’t force yourself into a situation where you might feel underappreciated. Self-respect means knowing when to walk away, even when it’s tempting to say yes to everything.
- The power of a polite decline. It’s okay to say "thanks, but I have other plans." You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
- Make your own plans! Invest time in the people and activities that genuinely value you.
Remember, It’s Not About Being Anti-Social
This isn’t about shutting out the world. Instead, it’s about prioritizing yourself and refusing to accept the bare minimum in friendships and social circles. By setting boundaries, you make space for genuine connections where your presence is wanted from the start.
You Deserve More than Convenience
You deserve to be part of plans from the beginning, not someone tacked on when it’s convenient. Upholding this standard might initially feel awkward, but with time, it becomes empowering. Respecting your own value is the surest way to attract people who genuinely see and appreciate it too.
